Once !n A L!fet!me

Again I found myself searching for her pictures. Just for a glimpse will do. Like what I thought many times before the mouse even clicked, it brought back the years lost happiness and even more well-buried sadness. How I won her heart and what I have simply done to lost it over my stupidity. So fast and now everything is messed up. Words are hard to describe but if I don't try then I might never know how it feels.

I have always wanted to talk to you so badly and if it ever reaches you then I wouldn't mind doing it here and now. Otherwise I'll tell you this some day in heaven.

Are you happy now that you have found a new love? Does he wait for you to sleep first before himself? Does he help you to finish the food that you couldn't finish yourself? Most importantly, does he love you more than I do? I've loved you before and will always love you.

To be honest, I am disappointed at how you have told me you only love me alone but deep inside I knew its not important anymore. The fault was not yours to carry to begin with, and we know who has really done wrong.

I still can't believe this, really this love is too frightening that it will probably haunt me for as long as I remember anything about you or us. Once you are gone and it is forever for life. Remember how we broke up so many times before? I have always silently told myself we will get back together sooner or later like how we always did. We were so damn closed after all, how could we ever break apart from each other? Still, now is more than 3 years and all I'm doing is cutting off everything that is related to you. What an unimaginable fool I was. It crushes my feelings over and over again whenever I remember how I let you down.

It doesn't matter anymore does it? No matter how hard I keep scolding myself, it is just too late. You found someone better, I got lost deeper in love labyrinth and time is moving ever so faster. There is no good ending for me like the movie that shed my silly tears watching it - "The Click"

Nonetheless, if this ever really reaches you in a year or a decade or even a millennium.
Please know that I was completely a moron for breaking your heart so many times.
Please, find somewhere in your heart's kindness to forgive all that I ever did wrong.
Pretty please, remember the good old times like how I made you laughed so much that we both cried from it.
I beg of you of this, please. For I have nothing more to ask of you than this little Christmas wish.
So that whenever and wherever you think of me even in the slightest moment, it will be a good and cheerful memory of us together.

I hope you found someone who will never break your heart. Our love has taught me well not to treat our loved one bad. Indeed our love has taught me too much to count. How wonderful when I called it our love and yet how sorrowful that it is not present anymore. I am grateful for all you did and this love will be eternally cherish by me as long as I'm around.

So now I will find my own love to get my life moving on, is my chance to find love again and for me to gain happiness too. Above all, I wish that you will always be better than me. Then I can sleep in peace for the rest of my nights.